‘Listen closely, as our options have changed’: Why all the changes?

I was on the phone with the fine folks at a large retailer the other day, but before I got to talk to a person, I went through the chain's automated system so I could be directed to the proper department. "Listen closely, as our options have changed." The familiar robotic voice we've likely all… Continue reading ‘Listen closely, as our options have changed’: Why all the changes?

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I’d rather go to Paris, Texas, than Paris, France, anyway

There's a commercial from the folks at Signet Jewelers that has been making its rounds lately, and it features a young couple—the woman is blindfolded and wearing a necklace from what I assume is Signet's Interwoven jewelry line—throwing a dart at a map to decide where to go on a trip. The dart lands on… Continue reading I’d rather go to Paris, Texas, than Paris, France, anyway

That time we worked in a race car pit

There's a saying out there that I love: "Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies." I helped my Capricorn brother and close friend, Matt, move a few times during college, and one time during our college years we found ourselves moving not bodies, but stock car tires. Through someone who he knew,… Continue reading That time we worked in a race car pit

5 Texan phrases I find myself usin’

I've lived in Texas for 11(!) years now, and it's been a great experience. I knew in my heart, even as a little boy, that if I wasn't living in my beloved Dayton, Ohio, I'd be in Texas. I even dated someone when I was in my mid-20s who told me I didn't have what… Continue reading 5 Texan phrases I find myself usin’

My 50th post plus a look behind the scenes of ‘NTYA’

Somehow I've managed to make it to 50 posts of "Not That You Asked," a (hopefully) humorous blog in the vein of Andy Rooney and Rick Reilly with some Midwest-Texan wisdom you never wanted in the first place. I can't really tell if I'm successful or not yet as a blogger, but I think I'm… Continue reading My 50th post plus a look behind the scenes of ‘NTYA’

5 bygone things that should come back

I'm a sucker for nostalgia. Here's five things from days gone by that should come back—and would help us build character: • The return of duels would be a great way for us to settle disputes again. Don't like what I said about you on Facebook? Let's fight to the death with swords! Not only… Continue reading 5 bygone things that should come back

When my inner voice speaks, I’ve learned to listen

Sometimes I hear a small voice that tells me to do things. Now that I read the prior sentence again, mentioning that I hear a voice makes me seem a little bonkers. Oh well. I think the voice is probably just part of my own internal dialogue or my conscience. Sometimes I wonder if it's… Continue reading When my inner voice speaks, I’ve learned to listen

Street knowledge: The wisdom of Al

Some of the wisest words I ever heard came from a guy who lived in the woods near I-35. I met him when I was going through a bit of an adjustment phase at my then-new job in 2011. I was in a new city—Austin—with new people, and I felt excited and terrified at the… Continue reading Street knowledge: The wisdom of Al

Alternative facts you may never have considered

In January "alternative facts" became part of our more recent terminology in America. Although some have described alternative facts as "falsehoods," I think we need to dig a little deeper into what we consider to be fact, and then we need to consider possible alternative facts. For example, is it possible that perhaps: North Korea… Continue reading Alternative facts you may never have considered