I once thought that I would maybe be the next great humor writer from my hometown of Dayton, Ohio. After all, Erma Bombeck came from Dayton. And though he’s from Cleveland (I think), the great columnist D.L. Stewart is based in Dayton, and he once told me himself when I visited him at the Dayton Daily News offices that many thought he was the next Erma. Of course, that meant I was the next D.L. Stewart, right?
I’m not sure it works that way.
Nonetheless, I shall persist. I decided I would write using this platform, and hopefully the content quality—along with judicious self-promotion, which I am not a huge fan of—would be strong enough to stand on its own and garner readers. I pride myself on perfect grammar, backing up up any information I might provide with solid sources, and hopefully making people laugh—or at least think or feel something, even if it’s nausea.
I have an extensive editing background in print/online news and a few years of column writing experience, so this type of content isn’t an experiment for me. I hope my writing is good enough to illustrate that, and I hope you can read my work and learn something you didn’t know before or at least have a chuckle—regardless of if it’s laughing with me or at me.
19 french fries about Andy
- Why 19? It’s my lucky number. Why french fries? I like fries better than nuggets.
- I despise selfies. I think they’re vain (sort of like writing a blog and listing 19 things about oneself!), and I’m not sure I’ve ever taken one of myself; I’d like to keep it that way.
- Having my picture taken is a bottomless hell for me.
- I moved from Ohio to Texas and can’t decide if I’m a Texan or Ohioan.
- I’m always warm, which never serves me well in the Texas heat.
- I let my beloved dog do absolutely anything she wants, as long as she doesn’t destroy anything in the house or go potty in the house. Giving her so much latitude is probably why she is so unruly
all the timesometimes, but I just want her to be happy and feel loved. Excluding my wife, my dog is my best friend.
- I met my wife on Match.com. We got married exactly three years after our first date, and her grandfather, a former minister, was the officiant. My wife is the greatest person I know.
- I love my in-laws. It seems like people are always complaining about their in-laws, but mine really feel like a second set of parents.
- My parents are my heroes and who I measure myself against. I couldn’t ask for better parents.
- I’m left-handed, which is my favorite thing about myself.
- My favorite restaurant is McDonald’s.
- I’m a major fan of the Wright brothers, the duo from my hometown of Dayton who invented the airplane.
- The best concert I ever saw was Katy Perry during her “California Dreams” tour in 2011. I’m pretty sure Katy winked at me, but my wife doesn’t believe me.
- I think I have my dream job already. I believe one of the reasons I am alive right now and living in Austin is because I am supposed to be an editor at the company I work for: I think I am in the right place at the right time. But if I wasn’t an editor, I think my dream job would be being Batman. I don’t know if that counts as an actual job, though. Plus the hours seem horrible.
- My biggest fear is failure. Traveling is up there, too. I get uncomfortable sometimes if I’m away from Texas.
- I went to WrestleMania 17 in Houston with two of my friends in 2001. We drove from Dayton to Houston and back in my Thunderbird in a matter of days, and it was insanely fun.
- I drink a fair amount of Coke. But I cut myself off in the afternoon so the caffeine doesn’t keep me awake at night.
- Everyone deserves a second chance, in my opinion. People make mistakes and should have an opportunity to make it right.
- I enjoy football—not as much as I used to, but I still like it. I worry about long-term effects of NFL players’ injuries, especially concussions. I wonder if football as we know it will cease to exist in the next decade or two?
Batman photo via DC Comics/Warner Bros.