Alternative facts you may never have considered

In January “alternative facts” became part of our more recent terminology in America. Although some have described alternative facts as “falsehoods,” I think we need to dig a little deeper into what we consider to be fact, and then we need to consider possible alternative facts. For example, is it possible that perhaps:

  • North Korea is the victim, and the rest of the world is a bunch of meanies?
  • This year, last year and the 10 years before that really were rebuilding years for your favorite sports team, and “there’s always next year” is actually true when the team makes the playoffs the following year?
  • It really is butter, and the makers of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter have been lying to us for years?
  • Despite advice to the contrary, it’s OK to mess with Texas?*
  • Practice doesn’t make perfect?
  • The “Golden Rule” is really just a gold-plated rule, and we should only do unto others when it makes us look like nice people?
  • The Baja Men discover that no one “let the dogs out,” as the song says, but someone left the door unlocked?
  • There really were monsters under your bed, but the nightlight you had in your room kept them from eating you as a child?
  • The sun won’t come out tomorrow?
  • The wheels on the bus don’t actually go round and round; they go in more of an elliptical pattern?
  • Professional wrestling really is real, and we ought to don tights, assume new identities and settle things in the ring like men instead of talking about our problems?
  • “It’s not you; it’s me” really was the reason someone dumped you, and he/she has a lot of work to do on on himself/herself?
  • That thing you have to do really is akin to rocket science or brain surgery, and you’ve been terribly misunderstood all these years?
  • That thing you didn’t want to do but did anyway really did “put hair on your chest” like your father said it would?

I know this is a lot to take in, and you may even vehemently disagree with me. If you do, forget debating this post’s merits: I’LL SEE YOU IN THE WRESTLING RING, BROTHER!

*Still not a good idea

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