After a few decades of analysis, I’ve determined the following are not worth the hype they receive:
◊ Travel—I don’t like spending money, not being at work, or being away from home and out of my routine. Especially if I can’t take my dog with me. Yes, there’s a big world out there to explore, but who gives a damn? Plenty of people have already explored it, and I can look at their photos if I want. And why would I ever want to leave Texas/America anyway? Ultimately, if said destination isn’t near a McDonald’s, I’m not interested.
◊ Golf on TV—Why does this even exist? Watching other people play the most boring sport ever invented when I could be doing just about anything else is an even bigger waste of time than actually playing golf. I’ve had naps that were more fun than televised golf. What’s next—televised teeth yellowing?
◊ Brunch—Brunch has irritated me for years. Of everything on this list, I think brunch is the worst. Just the word “brunch” seems so condescending and elitist. McDonald’s has it just right: If it’s before 11 a.m. on Sundays, it’s breakfast. After that, it’s lunch. Who wants to go to McDonald’s?
◊ Eating healthy—Super lame. Life is short; I eat what I want, and I exercise later. Of course, studies show life is even shorter if I have a poor diet, but at least I’ll die knowing that I ate what I wanted.
◊ Emojis—I refuse to use emojis. I’m not even sure I know how to do one or whatever. I think the little smiley faces and hearts and the crying faces (or are they laughing?) are too confusing and ruin what’s left of language. Is the poop emoji really chocolate? How do I know what the little faces mean—are you happy? Anxious? I can’t tell. Are those little hands praying or making a high-five? Hell if I know. I do like that there is a poop emoji, however.
Do you agree that these are overrated? What else is overrated?
Honorable mentions: intricate women’s fingernail art • selfies • this blog • sport utility vehicles • cable TV • Coke Freestyle machines • fantasy football predictions